Why corruption is just… great

One of the things that we have learnt since coming to Kenya is that the various infractions and misdemeanours of our august politicians are mere peccadilloes. Another difference is we in the UK expect justice. The Kenyans despair of it.

The corruption and lack of accountability is one reason the new constitution is likely to pass as it provides for some recourse when corruption is encountered, although there are unfortunately flaws. And why is a new  constitution required, what is the driving force behind it? Look at http://www.warshooter.com/en/content/kenya-post-election-violence-0 if you dare, although it is not for children. This is a bit(!) of a simplification, the violence was caused by multiple reasons, just as the constitution shall not be the only cure for Kenya’s ills.

And I hate to say it, now that we have encountered the corruption for the first time (you may call it bureaucracy, but hey, you say potato, I say potato) it has become more angry making than amusing. I attempted to register the Kenyan equivalent of a charity and ran straight into a brick wall. Having sent the office lackey to drop off the papers, I was surprised when he returned the same day with a problem. This seemed incredible efficiency – almost shocking. Looking at the papers within a month! Amazing.

But then he told me the problems. The title wasn’t bold enough!?! Oh, and the whole thing was wrong and had to be rewritten.

This was a problem. It was clear that I should go myself, but the chances of me not getting cross were vanishingly small. And if you think that anything would then get done, ever, you are too stupid to be reading this. I would have been stuck with a guy who would not process my application - not only because I wouldn’t pay him to pass it on, but because I had shouted at him. There could be no appeal to higher powers as they really don’t care.

This problem permeates Kenyan society, with everyone from politicians to police, and bureaucrats to bishops in on the act. Charities set up by well meaning westerners which support nothing but air - actually, that’s not true. They support lavish lifestyles. Police making arbitrary complaints in the hope of receiving a bribe (we had ‘your car windows are too dirty’ once. With the roads in Kenya, are you kidding?). Politicians and religious leaders protecting people who have committed the worst kinds of crimes; and not only protecting them, but rewarding them!

One can do nothing about this, because a complaint just exposes corruption at the next level. And if you do finally get to court you have to buy the judge, and how do you know that your opponent doesn’t have deeper pockets?

So yeah, new constitution. Actually, new anything – as long as it brings hope. Let us pray that it is not twisted by the same politicians it is intended to curb.

But at the same time, corruption rules – if you know the right people. Having related my problem to a friend, he said that he could help and so we set off into town. Meeting with a couple of guys (‘they are from my tribe'), it looks like we shall have a society within a month and not the usual 120 days. I shall not say much more because I don’t want to get anyone in trouble, but one of the guys didn’t want to be seen with a white man in case his boss found out. As a result I had to stand on the other side of the pavement separated from my friend and his fellow tribesman by an extremely infrequent flow of pedestrians, whilst papers were passed back and forth between the three of us. A weird situation - but strangely brilliant.