Twenty five days to go

So, we shall be back in Blighty in a meagre 25 days (26, but Edd’s an accountant so what does he know about counting?), so we thought we should share 25 things we have learnt/mused upon.

Always ask a woman for directions, never a man.

Treat the poor like children and children they will remain (whilst treating you like a chump).

Coke is better in 600ml bottles (although that may have been the 40 degree heat)

Africa isn’t always hot. In fact, Nairobi is freezing most of the time. Bring a hot water bottle.

 
Getting angry gets you nowhere.

When the sun shines every day, how can you be grumpy? (This does not bode well for England).

Don’t trip over a paving slab whilst carrying your too expensive camera. (that was Jo’s comment, the b…)

‘Stuff’ doesn’t make one happy. Red chickens do. And wireless broadband.

Being an African Bishop can be more lucrative than being a Colombian drug lord.

Chapaleau makes one fall over…

Germans are extremely grumpy on holiday (Italians are awful too…)

Aid doesn’t work. It just fosters greed and corruption. Having said that, how do you walk past someone starving and not help?

People living in the slums share everything (although not often voluntarily…)

A handshake is your most useful companion, although a digital camera comes a close second.

It is difficult to take photos of sad African children. This is because they are always happy.

All African choirs are awesome, even if they only have 6 people.

Zebras are just stripy donkeys. No, they really are.

Edd wants a monkey more than ever now.

It is possible to see nothing on safari. Even when this does happen, one feels guilty when one falls asleep.

Ugali doesn’t grow on you (neither does uji).

Pintard, sauce arachide and fufu are a little foretaste of heaven (if anyone knows how to make these please let us know.)

The thrill of using public transport is akin to the thrill of Russian Roulette (although Russian Roulette is safer).

Orphans are better off at home with their parents than in an orphanage.

 
Having white friends is nice, as they have lots of money to use for church repairs/just boost ones street cred.

The crap they sell in curio shops remains crap, no matter how many shops you look round. Please learn from this Jo.

The places in Dapaong with air conditioning are the bank, and the Post Office.

Buy an extra big wallet to put the wads of money you need for a brownie and cup of coffee (and remember you can only get 40 notes out the ATM in one go).

Lions are more scary than coming home!